Saturday, July 24, 2010

Welcome. On My Forehead.

I am the type who always looks after everyone. Always. I put everyone's needs before my own and I always end up sad and crying to myself at night because I don't take care of myself and I feel like a doormat. You'd think this might actually stop the cycle, one day I'd say "no, this is what I want and I'm taking it." However, if I don't do everything I can to make others happy all the time I feel like I'm a terrible person.
Before he left, the guy I currently am, well, lets be honest here, am irrationally in love with, asked me, "You're like me. You're always taking care of others but who's going to take care of you?"
Certainly not myself. It's sad isn't it, when you thought you were this emotionally strong person who had so many great attributes but you can't even have the strength to make sure you're okay.
I guess I'm the doormat forever.


blair.jones said...

I'm like that too.. and I agree, it's almost an impossible cycle to break. But it IS possible.

DB said...

I get in phases in which I act like this as well. You just realize after a while that someone has to care for you, and if you're not going to, why should anyone else? Its a tough road.