Today I practically failed the midterm, mostly in part due to lack of preparation, I did not read the book, however, I didn't feel the shame or guilt wash over me until I saw it there. Right there. In black ink. I have just realized that no matter how much flack I give everything in life when I screw up, I'm really only hurting me. Not only my present self, but my future self and my past self.
Something in me wrote it. In black ink, it's there. Right there. Something in me wanted to do it, get through. What part of me tossed that aside when someone said, "Do it." Suddenly it became a requirement, something I was no longer doing for me. How did this happen?
Maybe everything that's required is really something I'm doing for me, because there. Right there. In black ink. It's listed as something I wanted to achieve and overcome. There, amongst the lists of books I want to ravage and defeat, it says: