Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Top 5 Things People Shouldn't Do On a Mass Transit Train

This morning, as with every morning I commuted to school on the joyous adventure that is Vancouver's public transit system, the skytrain. I have decided over the years that certain things are just not ok to do whilst one is on public transit. Do not confuse these with things it's not ok to do in the car. The car is private. Privateish, but still. In no particular order, here are the things that just should. not. be done on public transit:

1) Standing in front of empty seats.
This bugs me. Today I wanted to sit down with my bag o' textbooks, but I had to push my way through. If there's a seat open, sit in it or move so someone else can.

2) Letting children sit on crowded trains.
Their five. Or three. I don't care. I'm nineteen, therefore, I am their elder and I deserve automatic cranky old lady respect. The cranky old ladies deserve even more cranky old lady respect. 5 year olds, well most of them anyway, seem to have an innate sense of balance. Let them use it. Or put them on your lap, they fit there.

3) Filing nails.
There is no weirder, creepier sound than nails being ground. There is no weirder, creepier feeling than sitting and wondering if you're breathing in someone's nail dust. Ew.

4) Putting on makeup.
I'm not talking lip balm. In my opinion, lip balm is super acceptable. Lips get dry and it's a unisex thing so everyone understands. However, if you have to put on concealer and eyeliner and shadow and mascara and blush, you need to wake up earlier. Isn't the point of makeup that everyone thinks it's natural?

5) Eating Pizza.
No other food annoys me. No other one, except pizza. I love pizza. I see pizza, I want pizza. It's also the most fragrant food ever. They did a study of British woman and found that their mouths watered more when they were presented with the smell of cheese melting on bread than when they smelt chocolate. Therefore, pizza is just like.... wow.

So, as a favour to civilization, stop it. just. stop. it.

2 comments:

blair.jones said...

Couldn't agree more!!
Also.. people singing awkwardly under their breath (often bad) to their ipod or whatever.. then they glare/look at YOU when you look at them funny. Riiiiight.

Sandy said...

omg, one time this guy was like karoakeing it off his iphone and he like performed it.
gotta love people