Thursday, January 21, 2010

10 Things I Want To Do To The Guy In The Adjacent Study Thing.

I'm "studying", he's sleeping. It is tempting.
1) Push his head into his book.
2) Slam a book really loud and startle him
3) Start a really loud JOEL PLASKETT RADIO ATTACK!
4) Make pancakes and wave them by his nose. No one can sleep through pancakes.
5) Conspire with everyone to quietly leave the library so he wakes up confused.
6) Draw on him.
7) Put a kick me sign on his back
8) Hand in warm water, classic.
9) Take his tea bag out of his tea because it'll be too strong and I feel bad for him.
10) Tickle him.

Monday, January 18, 2010

The Positive List, By Popular Demand

blair.jones, this one's for you- and my sanity! woot!
Why My Life Is A Lot Cooler Than I Let Myself Think It Is:
1) I have great friends.
I do, even though I'm a bitch to them like 99% of the time, I secretly love them, deep down inside.
2) One of those friends is Australian and ridiculously hot.
See bows and buckles, but yeah. He makes me blush and giggle, and I think he really likes me.
3) My dog rocks some serious socks.
He's just sitting there, being all cute, when he barks, he just stands there, barking all cute.
4) I start rugby tomorrow.
I've always wanted to play- help out with those aggression issues I attempt to hide.
5) I'm like REALLY pretty.
just sayin'.
6) I'm finally doing something I really, really want.
I'm going to be an amazing archaeologist. I know it.


So, as we all know I partner in many little blog projects. I like to write, it's something I don't have to take too seriously, probably the only think I don't take too seriously. Anyway, the point of this little ramble is that my friend Allyson and I have started a blog that, unlike this one, goes into the specifics of the wonderful world of our dating lives. You're going to have lots of fun reading about how her and I find and screw up dating processes. It's already started whooo!
So, I introduce you too.....
Bows and Buckles

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The 5 Reasons I Might Fail College.

So, when I started this whole college thing, I said that I would focus, study EVERY night, all night. keep on top of shit, ya know?
Ohhhh how I bullshit myself. Thus, the reasons I might fail School.
1) This Shit Is Hard.
I know I'm smart. I KNOW that. But dam, college is hard. I'm taking two classes on Ancient Rome and 2 in Anthropology and 1 in Latin and Greek. I'm already confused and it's only the first week.

2) I Lack Background Knowledge.
I know I probably only feel this way, but everyone seems to know stuff that I just... don't. That said, I am surprised at my recovery of evolution from bio 11. I should write a thank you card to Ms. Morgan because she obviously jedi mind tricked it in.
I know I'm not the only person sitting there with no clue about anything the prof's reference; the same three people are the ones with the wealth of knowledge. Maybe it's just snobbery on their part. No one likes a show off!

3) I Have No Clue Where To Start.
Everyone seems to know what's going on, but I have no clue. The prof's talk about chapter assignments, people have convos about what they did to study. I read what's on the outline, which wasn't what the chapter was about.

4) HBO.
I know it's a cop out, but it's just so tempting. Don't tell me you don't love Summer Heights High or Cathouse.

5) I've Already Skipped One Class.
Today I didn't really eat breakfast and by my second class I felt like shit. I totally made an ass of myself by going in to decide if I wanted to go or not, I don't remember. Skipping breakfast normally is bad, skipping breakfast when you're slightly anemic is REALLY bad. Just a note to the world there.

I don't want to fail. I really, really don't. Send some karma, and who knows? Maybe one day I'll name an ancient city after you.
Actually, no. I really want to find that stupid Atlantis already.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Top 5 Things People Shouldn't Do On a Mass Transit Train

This morning, as with every morning I commuted to school on the joyous adventure that is Vancouver's public transit system, the skytrain. I have decided over the years that certain things are just not ok to do whilst one is on public transit. Do not confuse these with things it's not ok to do in the car. The car is private. Privateish, but still. In no particular order, here are the things that just should. not. be done on public transit:

1) Standing in front of empty seats.
This bugs me. Today I wanted to sit down with my bag o' textbooks, but I had to push my way through. If there's a seat open, sit in it or move so someone else can.

2) Letting children sit on crowded trains.
Their five. Or three. I don't care. I'm nineteen, therefore, I am their elder and I deserve automatic cranky old lady respect. The cranky old ladies deserve even more cranky old lady respect. 5 year olds, well most of them anyway, seem to have an innate sense of balance. Let them use it. Or put them on your lap, they fit there.

3) Filing nails.
There is no weirder, creepier sound than nails being ground. There is no weirder, creepier feeling than sitting and wondering if you're breathing in someone's nail dust. Ew.

4) Putting on makeup.
I'm not talking lip balm. In my opinion, lip balm is super acceptable. Lips get dry and it's a unisex thing so everyone understands. However, if you have to put on concealer and eyeliner and shadow and mascara and blush, you need to wake up earlier. Isn't the point of makeup that everyone thinks it's natural?

5) Eating Pizza.
No other food annoys me. No other one, except pizza. I love pizza. I see pizza, I want pizza. It's also the most fragrant food ever. They did a study of British woman and found that their mouths watered more when they were presented with the smell of cheese melting on bread than when they smelt chocolate. Therefore, pizza is just like.... wow.

So, as a favour to civilization, stop it. just. stop. it.