Saturday, December 12, 2009

Ohhh we're halfway there!!

2 exams down, 2 to go!! These next 4 days are going to be a slow-roasted hell, but freedom will be at the end...for 2 weeks at least. Good times are ahead. We WILL move through, livin on a prayer and a shooting star. :)

Saturday, December 5, 2009

I'm applying for scholarships, this one makes you write an essay on a quote. The problem is that there isn't a quote about how your mother gripes at you all the time and how it makes you harbor violent thoughts.
I'm getting really sick of it. Every day it's like "have you found a job yet?" I have applied at every store at every mall. No. One. Wants. Me, which isn't exactly my fault. Every time she brings it up it just reminds me of the fact and makes me feel like crap. What does she want? Me to go into a place and be like "you have to hire me, my mothers making me work?"

The worst bit of it is that she doesn't once consider what I want or what's best for me. I need to be doing volunteer work and applying for scholarships right now. My goal is to do a lot of semester abroad programs. I don't have the money to do it, they only accept the most academically advanced students and they look at community service- they want an ideal citizen.

I want to take six classes- thats a lot. They're all anthro and history classes- homework and study heavy. If I want to get good marks I have to study, I can't be working 24/7. Besides, my brother went through a degree and he never had to work. I think the problem was I started working when I was twelve. What they don't realize, is that I've also been saving since I was twelve. If I cut back on drinking a bit, then I'll be fine.
They don't seem to understand that I'm trying so hard. My dad keeps finding me office jobs- I swear, it's always "they want someone full time who'll stay here a while." The two things I don't want are full time or to stay here.

The real issue is that I feel like no one cares what I think or what I want. They don't seem to care about my goals or my plans to achieve them.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Annie's advice didn't work because...

This blog is completely negating Annie's advice to us all because I am, once again, procrastinating studying for finals. This is a fun fun time in a student's life. Ugh, it's like pms of the semester. This is worse than papers. My procrastination due to the new world of being 19 in Canada didn't help throughout the semester either, because I am behind in readings too. Joy! I still have until next week though. Hopefully I make it out alive for Christmas.

Anyway, I was thinking about the whole Adam Lambert "incident" at the AMA's a few weeks ago. As most of you have already heard I'm sure, there was some gay sexual suggestiveness in his debut performance of his first single "For Your Entertainment". I didn't form my final opinion of what it meant until a few days later after hearing much debate about the topic. (I guess the world was at a stand-still for meaningful news. Honestly, it was even all over BBC.) I came to the conclusion that Adam was flaunting who he is to the public and was interpreting the lyrics of the song. Anything less from him would be a fakeout. However, it was a poor judgement on his part because it was the debut to potential consumers and viewers of his post-idol career. To the disapproving response of kids seeing the sexual content, Adam argued that he's not their babysitters and it's up to the parents to decide and screen what their kids watch. Which I agree with, but it was totally uncalled for. Even the poducers didn't know about the antics he would show on stage. None of it was choreographed in rehearsal. Adam, you have to think!! I love him and I love the fact that he's pushing the envelope and the right for freedom of expression and whatnot, but it wasn't a smart move for his debut performance.

Of course, consequences ensued. ABC cancelled his GMA appearance along with others, following the AMA's. And they're apparently in support of showing multiple forms of sexuality? Pshaw. According to my productive research (hehe) GLAAD is against ABC cancelling his appearances because of apparent double standards. But their stances are wishy washy. It seems that they don't want to get involved with the controversial issue of whether or not ABC cancelled him because of his sexual preference. Adam was on the Early Show sometime last week and on the segment before his interview, they showed Madonna and Britney Spear's kiss from some years ago, but they blurred out Adam kissing his male pianist during his performance...in the same segment. Censorship? Yeah. Double standard? Most definitely. I think America needs to loosen up a bit. You still have agency and nothing is being pushed on you. I'm curious about what other people think about this and homophobia in general.

So...back to studying psych. :P