Sunday, August 30, 2009

Musings.

I've been growing and changing a lot over this summer. I think a lot of the things that happen to most people slowly throughout high school finally caught up with me, so I'm starting to mature a little bit. It's an interesting feeling... This summer, I finally got a job; this summer, my faith in a certain group of people returned almost entirely, leaving a part of my brain utterly superfluous and allowing me to become more myself; this summer, I went to Scotland!!! ( :D ) and learned A Lot about myself and my family; this summer, I grew. Finally. I hadn't even realised there was growing left for me to do (and we're talking mental growth, here; I'm still short), but it turns out there was a much larger pair of shoes out there just waiting for me to grow into them.

So, this summer, I discovered that I was a late bloomer. Go figure. The girl that was walking and speaking fluent English by the time she was one and a half has become a late bloomer. I guess these things go in stops and starts...

A friend of mine pointed out to me on my 19th birthday that next year we will be turning 20. Imagine, a completely new era of your life, solely defined by a single number: 20. Wow. I can't believe that in one year, my childhood will be completely and entirely over. The thought that I will no longer be (essentially) the centre of my universe is a staggering one, I have to admit. The amount of responsibility that suddenly shifts onto my shoulders--for my own well-being, for my own education, really for my entire life--is much greater than I expected. It's astonishing that my parents took on such an ordeal... and really, even though I've grown up (not that you'll ever hear me admit that anywhere else; if I had my way, I'd be a patient of Children's Hospital for life!), the parent/child relationship never really goes away: they'll keep worrying about me as long as we're all still going. I suppose what it comes down to now, though, is that I've become my own person. Or, at least, I will in a year or two.... What a thought.

Hello, my name is Annie. I am whole. Almost.

1 comment:

blair.jones said...

It's true it's a new era in your life, but never let your age define who you are, or what you can or can not do. After all it's just a number, your personality and what you believe in define you.