Sunday, August 30, 2009

Musings.

I've been growing and changing a lot over this summer. I think a lot of the things that happen to most people slowly throughout high school finally caught up with me, so I'm starting to mature a little bit. It's an interesting feeling... This summer, I finally got a job; this summer, my faith in a certain group of people returned almost entirely, leaving a part of my brain utterly superfluous and allowing me to become more myself; this summer, I went to Scotland!!! ( :D ) and learned A Lot about myself and my family; this summer, I grew. Finally. I hadn't even realised there was growing left for me to do (and we're talking mental growth, here; I'm still short), but it turns out there was a much larger pair of shoes out there just waiting for me to grow into them.

So, this summer, I discovered that I was a late bloomer. Go figure. The girl that was walking and speaking fluent English by the time she was one and a half has become a late bloomer. I guess these things go in stops and starts...

A friend of mine pointed out to me on my 19th birthday that next year we will be turning 20. Imagine, a completely new era of your life, solely defined by a single number: 20. Wow. I can't believe that in one year, my childhood will be completely and entirely over. The thought that I will no longer be (essentially) the centre of my universe is a staggering one, I have to admit. The amount of responsibility that suddenly shifts onto my shoulders--for my own well-being, for my own education, really for my entire life--is much greater than I expected. It's astonishing that my parents took on such an ordeal... and really, even though I've grown up (not that you'll ever hear me admit that anywhere else; if I had my way, I'd be a patient of Children's Hospital for life!), the parent/child relationship never really goes away: they'll keep worrying about me as long as we're all still going. I suppose what it comes down to now, though, is that I've become my own person. Or, at least, I will in a year or two.... What a thought.

Hello, my name is Annie. I am whole. Almost.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

A note on careers and values.

It bothers me when children say, "When I grow up, I want to be a(n) *insert profession here."
What is saying that you're going to be a doctor, accountant or lawyer really meaning? There are tons of horrible doctors, millions of accounts who are direly unhappy, and I hear a lot of lawyers are crooked, but that's purely a rumour. I did it too, I wanted to be a ballerina who also sang and wrote books and run an orphanage for all the poor kids so they could be loved and have a home. 

When was the last time you heard a child saying, "When I grow up, I want to be honest, fun and happy"? 
I'm not trying to undermine the value of a career here, I'm trying to undermine the weight people put on the value of a career. If instead of teaching children they had to be addicted to working to be a fabulous success, why don't we teach them it doesn't matter what job you have, if you're a) an alcoholic, b) a drug addict or c) just plain unhappy, how high up are you really? 

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Long overdue blog coming at you!

Alright, so I've been neglecting so many things this summer. Including this blog :( I didn't think this summer would be so jam-packed with just....things! Blog, I love you, but you must understand. Everything that I wasn't able to do last summer is happening this summer. Some of the things may seem trivial to one person but very meaningful to me. Some of the things are wow-tastic universally. Needless to say, I'm loving life right now! Even though everything is happening, I'm itching for more.
The pop culture side of me says: This summer...Adam Lambert liked my black and glittery nails (:D) who also performed a mindblowing rendition of Mad World in front of my face. I asked Matt Giraud for a hug....he did so with an addition of a kiss on the cheek. (You know what, for that, check out my youtube channel: jazywen. :) Coldplay and Snow Patrol were right there on the same stage. Yellow, Take Back The City, Viva....so epic. Oh yeah, and I'm seeing that guy named David Cook in Seattle on August 24th. Just sayin.
The traveller/vacationer side of me says: This summer....I went to Alaska where we got pampered, saw a plethora of wildlife, and experienced a glacier only 1 km away. We won a trip to Whistler where we won a bit of money and partied at the Hilton. Went to Victoria a few times with the family (and again tomorrow to visit Jeffrey, who just moved ot). And I went to Europe about 20 times. No, that's a lie. It should be valid though since I sat through hundreds of pictures and videos of Europe from 20 different people this summer. It was enjoyable though. Makes me craaave Paris even more :P. Doing the Grouse Grind for the first time which took me an hour and 45 minutes should be an accomplishment too lol!
And the scholar side of me remained partially active this summer with a history of psychology course at SFU. I thought it was going to be the most dry and hiccuppy pre-req ever, but it turned out to be one of the best psych courses I've taken. Like, it included the ancient Greek philosophers...cool stuff huh? So my brain isn't completly dead for the fall semester. Thumbs up. Various jobs during the summer kept me grounded too. The ground is no fun :P. Work at the PNE starts Saturday and there are like a gazllion things that need to be done before then...but life's good. I just can't believe that I'll be seeing David in UNDER a week! eep! I may never be the same...just as a warning. So there's the very brief (trust me, that is brief) synopsis of my summer thus far. I'm actually pretty excited for fall semester...I picked up the restoration and 18th century literature book today and it got me pretty excited. :)

Monday, August 10, 2009

w00t!

My confidence has been almost completely rekindled! I know that's enigmatic, but it's all you're getting! :D

I love the world! ^_^

Saturday, August 1, 2009

I have writers block. 
Seriously, I finally pump out some Music Crush, I sent it, it didn't send, I rewrote it and it sucks, and Underpants, just isn't happening. And now I don't even have a clue what to say here, so that's good. 

The thing is that I feel like no matter what I do it'll end up like this weeks Music Crush, disappointing me, and I feel like my readers- are there any of you?! - deserve a LOT better than that. I could blame it on anything, that I'm too excited about my birthday, I'm sad about being in Vancouver and not somewhere more wow, or even the fabulous blue shade of my nails is harsh distracting, but really... it's none of those things. The fact is, it's me. I'm in a rut, I'm not doing anything exciting. tyutw33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333e 

that was my dog, who is clearly more inspired than I am. Well, good.