Saturday, April 25, 2009

nightly thoughts.

you know how you always saw the girls in archie comics talking about how their nose is shiny?
i never got that until like right now. it's like theres a flat bridge coming off my nose. like a ski jump. 
i read somewhere that to promote healthy body image one should stare at themselves in the mirror and watch the flaws just disappear. the part of that i question is in real life, how many people are going to just stare at you that long. really after a couple vigorous minutes of this excersize the only thing i've looked at is my eyes. and chin. 
i never used to think anything was wrong with my chin until a girl in my  class pointed out that it was connected to my neck in a manner that gave me no real silhouette. 
i hate her for saying that. 
since then all i've looked at is my chin. i used to love my neck, i thought it was long and beautiful, now i see it as the enemy. after many more events i've come to see her as the enemy too. like who points out stuff like that? 
who DOES that?
anyway, i don't really know the point of this, i think it's the pinot noir. but i've been feeling really prone to hiding lately. i was staring at myself in the mirror on the car ride home today, and just thought, wow. i'm really here. this is really now, and i'm really not who i thought i would be when i was 6. it was startling and sad and everything. 

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