Saturday, December 12, 2009

Ohhh we're halfway there!!

2 exams down, 2 to go!! These next 4 days are going to be a slow-roasted hell, but freedom will be at the end...for 2 weeks at least. Good times are ahead. We WILL move through, livin on a prayer and a shooting star. :)

Saturday, December 5, 2009

I'm applying for scholarships, this one makes you write an essay on a quote. The problem is that there isn't a quote about how your mother gripes at you all the time and how it makes you harbor violent thoughts.
I'm getting really sick of it. Every day it's like "have you found a job yet?" I have applied at every store at every mall. No. One. Wants. Me, which isn't exactly my fault. Every time she brings it up it just reminds me of the fact and makes me feel like crap. What does she want? Me to go into a place and be like "you have to hire me, my mothers making me work?"

The worst bit of it is that she doesn't once consider what I want or what's best for me. I need to be doing volunteer work and applying for scholarships right now. My goal is to do a lot of semester abroad programs. I don't have the money to do it, they only accept the most academically advanced students and they look at community service- they want an ideal citizen.

I want to take six classes- thats a lot. They're all anthro and history classes- homework and study heavy. If I want to get good marks I have to study, I can't be working 24/7. Besides, my brother went through a degree and he never had to work. I think the problem was I started working when I was twelve. What they don't realize, is that I've also been saving since I was twelve. If I cut back on drinking a bit, then I'll be fine.
They don't seem to understand that I'm trying so hard. My dad keeps finding me office jobs- I swear, it's always "they want someone full time who'll stay here a while." The two things I don't want are full time or to stay here.

The real issue is that I feel like no one cares what I think or what I want. They don't seem to care about my goals or my plans to achieve them.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Annie's advice didn't work because...

This blog is completely negating Annie's advice to us all because I am, once again, procrastinating studying for finals. This is a fun fun time in a student's life. Ugh, it's like pms of the semester. This is worse than papers. My procrastination due to the new world of being 19 in Canada didn't help throughout the semester either, because I am behind in readings too. Joy! I still have until next week though. Hopefully I make it out alive for Christmas.

Anyway, I was thinking about the whole Adam Lambert "incident" at the AMA's a few weeks ago. As most of you have already heard I'm sure, there was some gay sexual suggestiveness in his debut performance of his first single "For Your Entertainment". I didn't form my final opinion of what it meant until a few days later after hearing much debate about the topic. (I guess the world was at a stand-still for meaningful news. Honestly, it was even all over BBC.) I came to the conclusion that Adam was flaunting who he is to the public and was interpreting the lyrics of the song. Anything less from him would be a fakeout. However, it was a poor judgement on his part because it was the debut to potential consumers and viewers of his post-idol career. To the disapproving response of kids seeing the sexual content, Adam argued that he's not their babysitters and it's up to the parents to decide and screen what their kids watch. Which I agree with, but it was totally uncalled for. Even the poducers didn't know about the antics he would show on stage. None of it was choreographed in rehearsal. Adam, you have to think!! I love him and I love the fact that he's pushing the envelope and the right for freedom of expression and whatnot, but it wasn't a smart move for his debut performance.

Of course, consequences ensued. ABC cancelled his GMA appearance along with others, following the AMA's. And they're apparently in support of showing multiple forms of sexuality? Pshaw. According to my productive research (hehe) GLAAD is against ABC cancelling his appearances because of apparent double standards. But their stances are wishy washy. It seems that they don't want to get involved with the controversial issue of whether or not ABC cancelled him because of his sexual preference. Adam was on the Early Show sometime last week and on the segment before his interview, they showed Madonna and Britney Spear's kiss from some years ago, but they blurred out Adam kissing his male pianist during his the same segment. Censorship? Yeah. Double standard? Most definitely. I think America needs to loosen up a bit. You still have agency and nothing is being pushed on you. I'm curious about what other people think about this and homophobia in general.

So...back to studying psych. :P

Friday, November 27, 2009

A Lesson in Time Management.

As university students, we like to think that we are invincible. This past week/weekend, I have learned otherwise.

This is what my schedule of due dates looked like for the last week or so:

Friday, Nov 20th: 8 page English paper due. Close reading. No problem.

Tuesday, Nov 24th: 4 page Archaeology paper due. Article compare/contrast. No problem.
10 page Political Science paper due. Research mostly finished. Shouldn't be a problem.

Wednesday, Nov 25th: 4-8 page paper due. English, but weird topic. Probably no problem?

My poor time management in the months leading up to this Lovely week (which I was well aware of long before it actually started) meant that I was going to have to lose a lot of sleep for a few days. I did, however, make a plan so that this would me minimized. Or so I thought.

The weekend of November 14th/15th, I tried to make sure that most of my poli sci research was finished. This, of course, did not really happen. Then, on Monday, I attended an Extremely late concert which I had (brilliantly) purchased tickets for in September. So no progress that night either.

Tuesday night was a rehearsal for my choir performance. Given that I had been forced to miss three practices already due to 1) illness ('tis the season, after all), and 2) due to the two concerts in two weeks that I attended. All things considered, I was a bit behind: it was a question of being there or not being allowed to participate in the concert, to which I had already invited all of my family, half of my friends, and my boyfriend. In short, no progress to be found.

Wednesday night I decreed that finishing my research was a necessity, as I knew for a fact I would be working on my English paper all day (and probably all night) the next day. Thankfully, I did manage to accomplish this; however, I had also hoped to get an outline written, and this did not happen.

So, on Thursday, I passed my time holed-up in my office, bent over my English lit anthology and making clever observations about satire in The Rape of the Lock. Not a problem, but I was still up until 3:30 or so getting it done. Not the best.

Had to get up early on Friday for Philosophy tutorial, having done no homework and therefore having nothing to contribute. That class is so difficult for me to grasp, though, that missing the tutorial would probably cause my head to explode in the next lecture. So I showed up, exhausted, but present. That night I went to see White Christmas live. Fun, but not particularly productive.

Saturday went off essentially without a hitch, except that because I hadn't finished an outline for my Poli Sci paper on Wednesday, I was now forced to do it Saturday instead. This in turn meant that I got all of three paragraphs (out of ten pages, if you remember) written. The bulk of my work was now relegated to Sunday, which I had hoped to reserve for my second English paper.... Things were not looking too good at this point.

Thus, I spent Sunday writing my Political Science paper, which I did manage to finish. Not without staying up until 3:00 again, though. Luckily, my classes on Monday didn't start until about 11:30, so I could let myself sleep in. I knew, however, that I would have to write my entire Archaeology essay the night before (which I had planned to do anyway, given it's relatively short length requirements). I was not particularly looking forward to this.

On Monday night, I discovered that the two articles I had planned to use for my Archaeology paper were, in fact, useless. A week previously, I had spent two hours in the library routing out sources, but apparently this was to no avail. I therefore had to spend the better part of the night just looking for sources, which was especially difficult because the only resource I had on hand was the internet, and the prof had given rather strict conditions on where to find internet sources, all of which turned out to be inaccessible for some reason... how convenient. All in all, it was another late night (3:30 yet again), accompanied by a rather earlier morning the next day. This was probably my worst night. There was a grim feeling of foreboding in the air, not least of all because of the utter failure I had encountered trying to find contrasting articles. Tuesday was not going to be fun....

My classes on Tuesdays start promptly at 10:30. I had to be present at this lecture in order to hand in my Political Science paper; however, I also knew that I had to somehow find time that day to write my last English paper. Now, Tuesdays are generally a long day for me, because not only is poli sci a two hour lecture, but it is immediately followed by a two hour break, which is immediately followed by my three hour Archaeology lecture. After that, I have one hour to get dinner, and then choir practice. It was integral that I be at this week's practice, not only because I had already missed three practices, but because it was the dress rehearsal that night. Needless to say, I did not stay in Archaeology. Somehow I had to find the time to get my work done for my English paper before choir practice, otherwise I would not be able to start work at all until I got home at 8:30 pm.

The paper that resulted from these efforts was, undoubtedly, not my best work, though I was happier with it that with the Archaeology piece I had written the previous night. All in all, the week had been rather brutal, possibly the most brutal of my life (and I've had some pretty brutal weeks). The lesson I wish to leave you with, dear reader, having endured my pedantic prose for so long, is that time management is in fact a good thing. Procrastinate all you want, but have a plan for the aftermath, or you will probably make yourself sick (as I did).

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Bursting my Bubble

Well Internet, it seems that my plans for Spain have fallen. Today was my last day of work at the union and I have to use my savings to tide me over for the next bit. I'm not sad about not working there anymore, I really did despise that job. However, I am sad about the money not pouring in like it used to. I enjoyed being able to spend without discretion. It truly is a drug worse than any other- being able to spend. Feeling the hard plastic of a credit card and knowing that no matter what you won't be punished for using it because, lets face it, there's more where that came from. Having large amounts of money coming in every weeks was a godsend. It showed me how much I can truly do with money.

I could buy things for myself. Not just clothes and shoes, but books and food. If I felt like an eggplant that day, I would go to Safeway, pick up all the ingredients I needed and just make something with what I felt like. It was awesome. I went out every weekend. I drank more than enough for me and I was able to buy my friends drinks. I never freaked out about anything- $20 cover here, $9 drink there, cab ride? don't worry about it girls, whatever. It was fun, I felt like I was living how life ought to be lived. I realize now that sometimes I do take the generosity a little too far. I need to stop paying for people, it's time for people to start paying me back for everything over all the years when they were unemployed. The tables have turned, and it's kind of nice.... at least for me.

I also found a way to help people. Because I had money to spare, I started talking to one of those red cross people and I actually started donating- after making sure my money wouldn't pay for abortions of course. I volunteered a lot in the summer simply because I didn't have to worry about being able to afford to not work on weekends. I felt a lot better about myself knowing I wasn't just sitting on top of everything my Father worked for... which I'm kind of doing now.

The weirdest bit of the entire thing though, had to be the savings. I had never been a saver. I like to spend my money- time for work and time for play. I love carrying bags and feeling like a million bucks in something new. For the first time in my life, I was earning enough to be able to save a lot and still have heaps of disposable income. I saved $3,000 this summer and not once did I feel deprived. Now there's just visa bills to pay and an ever shrinking number in the savings spot.

Money did so much for me. It let me have whatever I want and made me feel like I was some amazing high class whatever. The fact of the matter is that I'm not. It's heaps of fun jumping into an illusion, the climb to the top of your mental pedestal. Eventually though, you fall off. Or it gets knocked down. All that's left to do is rebuild it, piece by piece.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Llamar a España

Last night, I made a decision.
When I saw a cheap flight to Madrid on my travelzoo email it all came together. I am going to spend the summer in Spain. My Mom doesn't want to hear it, my dad thinks that "if I were smart I'd go to Italy." My brother was indifferent, and my friends think I've finally gone crazy again, it was bound to happen sometime.

The main critique is simply, "Isn't this all so sudden?"

For those of you that don't know, I like to work on spontaneity. I don't do the mulling and milling thing, I jump in, see how I swim, and if I drown, well there certainly aren't many unattractive lifegaurds out there. Spain is perfect: summer sun, running with the bulls, a huge tomato fight, a bloody wine battle! What more do you need?

I really want to go to Seville. When I was 2 months old, my parents moved me and I spent a year there. When I went to Italy I felt a sense of being home. (It might've just been that I realized that I do sort of, kind of look Italian) I want to see if I'll get that in Spain. If not, I'm sure I'll find a Spanish boy to comfort me!

I don't think I'd want to spend the summer with a bunch of books, and I can work in Spain- if I go as an Italian it's more than perfectly legal... I'll brush up on my Spanish starting like now, and in May, I'll be off to España! Hasta Luego!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Oh crap.

I can almost feel the sun hitting me. It's depressing- I want something real and concrete. Right now everything's kind of up in the air- Postponed travel plans are the real kicker. I had to "borrow" $500 from my travel fund. I had almost saved up $3,000. $3,000 would be my flight, plus back up money for a ticket home from wherever. I'm going to pay it back for myself... Losing that money made it feel like it won't actually happen, and I'm quite sad about that. Everything I do right now, I do so I can travel; I went back to school so I could do exchanges and study programs. Also, student rates! HELLO SAVINGS! 
It all seems so unnatainnable though, like the carrot fish on a treadmill. 
I just need to get out of here.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

More Lessons From My Brother's Relationship Fail.

For those of you who aren't aware, I am not a fan of this girl. Their entire relationship is like a PSA.

5) Don't abuse a connection. If the person you know isn't at someone's house, don't go there. You. Don't. Live. There. It's nice that his parents don't give a crap about what his sister wants and lets you invade whenever you want, but really, who does that? 
6) There is such a thing as wearing out your welcome. Do not stay at said place for a week. It's rude, and when you kick against the shared wall all night, the person in the bedroom beside you can't sleep. They live here. You don't. They want to sleep.
7) If someone tries to help you, take it. It's not like you can dress yourself properly and merely suggesting that you would look good in blue based whites is not an insult, in fact it's a compliment. Blue based whites are pretty. 
8) Sometimes things you don't think are disruptive are. Do not shower after 10. The water is loud and some people have bedrooms that share a wall with a bathroom. Some people are trying to go to bed early so that they can perform well at school. Mind you, it's really not worth trying because you're probably just going to kick the other wall all night. 
9) Don't date a baby, he should take care of himself. If your boyfriend is in the midst of a huge mantrum do not go up to him and baby him. Let him work it out himself. A child wouldn't have you running up to him, talking to him in a baby voice. When a grown man acts up he does not need to be validated, he needs to be taught that that is NOT the right way to deal with his feelings.
10) Love is about wanting what's best for someone, even if you aren't involved in it and lose a lot. Don't hold the person you're with back. I understand that you get to live in a nice house, go to fancy dinners and go on nice trips. I understand that your home life is crap and that using someone to get all the things you never had is tempting, but it's affecting him and his family. When you won't encourage him doing something because you lose all the good things you can't afford to do you're nothing more than a selfish bitch. 

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Cooking at Home- My thoughts.

I just read a very interesting article about how people need to learn to cook. I was curious because of my newfound "I'm so in love with this" thing is Jamie Olliver's Cookbook, Jamie's Food Revolution. The article branches into eating different cuts of meat, but for those of us, like myself who are undecided on whether or not we want to put liver into our mouths I'm going to focus on the cooking at home bits.

So, as we've discovered I bought this cookbook because, well, I am a pizza ordering fiend. The first thing Panago taught their delivery guys was how to get to my house (I live in a pretty secluded area, so this actually was a neccessary endeaver). The minute my parents went out, my brother and I would hop to the phone and order some sweet, calorific delicousness.

The problem was, each time we placed about a $40 order. (a large pizza to split, and like 4 packs of wings and ridiculous amounts of coke) Despite the fact that all I ever had was a couple cans of coke and 2 or 3 slices of pizza, I usually ended up footing the bill because I'm the 4-years-younger responsible one. This habit got transferred to my alone self, and suddenly cooking took a backseat to the ease of ordering a pizza.

Not only did this take a toll on my wallet, but honestly, it wasn't doing my body any good. I heard about this new cookbook, and lets be honest here, I only bought it because it had pictures of Jamie cooking- It's a hot boy doing a hot thing! I also had an inkling of an idea that I would host dinner parties with my friends instead of going out every week. (that spiel, along with "my parents'll let your underage ass drink in the house" got Jen to allow me to buy said book) My brother, Chris, decided that it looked acceptable to him and we've actually done a lot of cooking. I think we've only gotten pizza like once in the past few months. Of course we've saved heaps of money and I've reincarnated a relationship with these things called vegetables.

In the end, I guess take out isn't that good for you. In the environmental scheme of things, I suppose it has some effect. I'm less likely to chop up some meat than I am to chop up some veggies because raw meat grosses me out a little bit. Tonight I'm on my own for dinner. I'm gonna have some of the delicious chilli I made last night, and then I might just mosey over to modcloth and reward my savvy saving with a pair of shoes....

Sunday, August 30, 2009


I've been growing and changing a lot over this summer. I think a lot of the things that happen to most people slowly throughout high school finally caught up with me, so I'm starting to mature a little bit. It's an interesting feeling... This summer, I finally got a job; this summer, my faith in a certain group of people returned almost entirely, leaving a part of my brain utterly superfluous and allowing me to become more myself; this summer, I went to Scotland!!! ( :D ) and learned A Lot about myself and my family; this summer, I grew. Finally. I hadn't even realised there was growing left for me to do (and we're talking mental growth, here; I'm still short), but it turns out there was a much larger pair of shoes out there just waiting for me to grow into them.

So, this summer, I discovered that I was a late bloomer. Go figure. The girl that was walking and speaking fluent English by the time she was one and a half has become a late bloomer. I guess these things go in stops and starts...

A friend of mine pointed out to me on my 19th birthday that next year we will be turning 20. Imagine, a completely new era of your life, solely defined by a single number: 20. Wow. I can't believe that in one year, my childhood will be completely and entirely over. The thought that I will no longer be (essentially) the centre of my universe is a staggering one, I have to admit. The amount of responsibility that suddenly shifts onto my shoulders--for my own well-being, for my own education, really for my entire life--is much greater than I expected. It's astonishing that my parents took on such an ordeal... and really, even though I've grown up (not that you'll ever hear me admit that anywhere else; if I had my way, I'd be a patient of Children's Hospital for life!), the parent/child relationship never really goes away: they'll keep worrying about me as long as we're all still going. I suppose what it comes down to now, though, is that I've become my own person. Or, at least, I will in a year or two.... What a thought.

Hello, my name is Annie. I am whole. Almost.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

A note on careers and values.

It bothers me when children say, "When I grow up, I want to be a(n) *insert profession here."
What is saying that you're going to be a doctor, accountant or lawyer really meaning? There are tons of horrible doctors, millions of accounts who are direly unhappy, and I hear a lot of lawyers are crooked, but that's purely a rumour. I did it too, I wanted to be a ballerina who also sang and wrote books and run an orphanage for all the poor kids so they could be loved and have a home. 

When was the last time you heard a child saying, "When I grow up, I want to be honest, fun and happy"? 
I'm not trying to undermine the value of a career here, I'm trying to undermine the weight people put on the value of a career. If instead of teaching children they had to be addicted to working to be a fabulous success, why don't we teach them it doesn't matter what job you have, if you're a) an alcoholic, b) a drug addict or c) just plain unhappy, how high up are you really? 

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Long overdue blog coming at you!

Alright, so I've been neglecting so many things this summer. Including this blog :( I didn't think this summer would be so jam-packed with just....things! Blog, I love you, but you must understand. Everything that I wasn't able to do last summer is happening this summer. Some of the things may seem trivial to one person but very meaningful to me. Some of the things are wow-tastic universally. Needless to say, I'm loving life right now! Even though everything is happening, I'm itching for more.
The pop culture side of me says: This summer...Adam Lambert liked my black and glittery nails (:D) who also performed a mindblowing rendition of Mad World in front of my face. I asked Matt Giraud for a hug....he did so with an addition of a kiss on the cheek. (You know what, for that, check out my youtube channel: jazywen. :) Coldplay and Snow Patrol were right there on the same stage. Yellow, Take Back The City, epic. Oh yeah, and I'm seeing that guy named David Cook in Seattle on August 24th. Just sayin.
The traveller/vacationer side of me says: This summer....I went to Alaska where we got pampered, saw a plethora of wildlife, and experienced a glacier only 1 km away. We won a trip to Whistler where we won a bit of money and partied at the Hilton. Went to Victoria a few times with the family (and again tomorrow to visit Jeffrey, who just moved ot). And I went to Europe about 20 times. No, that's a lie. It should be valid though since I sat through hundreds of pictures and videos of Europe from 20 different people this summer. It was enjoyable though. Makes me craaave Paris even more :P. Doing the Grouse Grind for the first time which took me an hour and 45 minutes should be an accomplishment too lol!
And the scholar side of me remained partially active this summer with a history of psychology course at SFU. I thought it was going to be the most dry and hiccuppy pre-req ever, but it turned out to be one of the best psych courses I've taken. Like, it included the ancient Greek stuff huh? So my brain isn't completly dead for the fall semester. Thumbs up. Various jobs during the summer kept me grounded too. The ground is no fun :P. Work at the PNE starts Saturday and there are like a gazllion things that need to be done before then...but life's good. I just can't believe that I'll be seeing David in UNDER a week! eep! I may never be the same...just as a warning. So there's the very brief (trust me, that is brief) synopsis of my summer thus far. I'm actually pretty excited for fall semester...I picked up the restoration and 18th century literature book today and it got me pretty excited. :)

Monday, August 10, 2009


My confidence has been almost completely rekindled! I know that's enigmatic, but it's all you're getting! :D

I love the world! ^_^

Saturday, August 1, 2009

I have writers block. 
Seriously, I finally pump out some Music Crush, I sent it, it didn't send, I rewrote it and it sucks, and Underpants, just isn't happening. And now I don't even have a clue what to say here, so that's good. 

The thing is that I feel like no matter what I do it'll end up like this weeks Music Crush, disappointing me, and I feel like my readers- are there any of you?! - deserve a LOT better than that. I could blame it on anything, that I'm too excited about my birthday, I'm sad about being in Vancouver and not somewhere more wow, or even the fabulous blue shade of my nails is harsh distracting, but really... it's none of those things. The fact is, it's me. I'm in a rut, I'm not doing anything exciting. tyutw33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333e 

that was my dog, who is clearly more inspired than I am. Well, good. 

Friday, July 17, 2009


I bet you can guess what my minds been on.
and it's not these candy-coated, chocolate covered sunflower seed that i'm not quite sure whether I like or not. It's like nutty, odd smarties. If they used high quality chocolate these would totes be the new it thing.

Anyway, as per usual my minds been on my next adventure. All I can think about lately is how much I just want to go and run and party and just..... be. I think it's a bit of a liberation issue. When I'm here every 5 seconds I have someone telling me I can't do something. The only time I really got told that on my last gallavant was when I was extremely drunk in Amsterdam and thought getting a tattoo was "like, the best idea EVER!!!" Probably for the best as I would've gotten "Dutch Boys Are Hot!" or something of the like on my ass or forehead. (Seriously tallest country in the world. says that the average is 6'0". A nation where the average male is running around being 6'. That means a lot of them are taller. Excuse me while I pack my rucksack for Amsterdam.)

So now it's all about getting there again. And to Australia. And to Africa. And to South America. And through the bits of North America I don't feel I've familiarized myself with enough yet.

Travel doesn't just provide me with an opportunity to be seriously reckless and daring, but it also aids in the all to familiar dialouge about my life after college and the initial little trip that most assume was more than enough. News flash: it's not. I haven't seen Spain OR England. Does that sound like enough for you?! People ask me what I want to do now, I say travel, most accept that and ask how long. When I go "oh, about 11 years." That's when the bug eyedness begins. There are two basic reactions to travelling longer than a year. The first, and most common is a look of shock, and cynism, "You're crazy." to which I respond, "why, yes I am, thank you!"
The other day my brother's girlfriend told him that he couldn't just drop 2 grand on a plane ticket. Why not?! If ya have it go!
I've come to learn that reactions with negative responses really mean, "I'm jealous. I wish I had the guts to say 'Peace out, have a nice bit!' while hoisting a backpack and running to the door." Think about it, whenever work sucks our natural response is to pack up and run away. Kids run away, adults quit jobs and throw glitter at their bosses face. We all have a flight or fight instinct, so lets do both now hey?

The less common response is an openly interested/admitting jealousy one. The "where do you plan to go? How long are you staying?" ones. They're my favorite. I will note that they often do say that I'm crazy, but in a more, crazy is good way.

Of course, as the pessimistic, jealous, annoying people know do have a point. There are things to consider. Money being the big one. I do plan to work while there, but it's not like while I'm there and I can pop my hair in pigtails, put on a pot of my delicious chilli and make a hefty withdrawl from the bank of Daddy. I could call and get a transfer in mega emergency situations though.
Anyway, that's not the point, the point is I need to work and save my patookas off while I'm here.

I also have to consider that I'm absolutely and completely terrified of landing in London, walking up to an immigration officer and upon being asked where I'm staying go, "If I can't find something, I reckon I'll just pitch tent in a park or alley or whatever." Mind you this time I'm going in as an Italian so maybe I get to skip all that....
GAH! I need to, well I need to chill. I'm really thinking about Au Pairing first, just for a year. I think it'll really help ground me in the continent and I can meet all kinds of fab people!

I'm not sure what to do and it really sucks. Tips? Advice? Happy Thoughts? Good Karma?!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

There you go, Sandy, see? I'm Blogging! :P

Last semester, I took a course called "Introduction to Poetry". At the time I don't suppose it really sank in, but just now it's hit me that I'm really nowhere near as good a writer as I always thought. Now, I don't want to sound at all conceited, but the fact of the matter is that English has always been my strongest subject, and I always thought that I could basically pull a composition out of a hat: it was just that easy. Last semester, though, we pulled poems apart until all that remained of their beautiful fabric was the bare threads. And it made me realize how very meaningless my own compositions had always been: completely shallow, and utterly devoid of value. I wish someone had properly told me how to compose an extended metaphor, or really dwelt emphatically on the differences between metonymy and synecdoche. There is so much I have yet to learn... I only hope I have a chance to do so.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

the hardest part of travel...

People say that saving up is hard, they say that packing is hard... but what about deciding where you want to go?! 
My problem here is that I have the worst case of wanderlust known to mankind. It's the kind where your not sure where you want to go, you just kinda want to go everywhere. How on earth can you pick where to go if you want to go everywhere?! The two biggies I'm considering are Australia and Europe. 
I'm not talking going for a week or whatever, I'm thinking working holiday here. I can legally work anywhere in the EU, so all I have to do is get my Italian passport ready. I'd start in England and slowly move towards Ireland then come down and do the entirety of the continent, I'd come home, remake some money, brag to friends (lets be honest here.), save up a bit and head to Australia. 
If I went to Australia first, I'd get a working holiday visa for the max stay (I hear it's 6 months) Get a job, explore the country, do a bit of reckoning- I've become quite familiar with the act- then I'd head to New Zealand and Fiji and just max out all of my working holiday visas, come home, remake some money, brag to friends (honesty is the best policy!) save up a bit and head to Europe. 
Of course, Annie and Jen are debating doing European transfers, and this affects things. How awesome would it be to be living in Europe at the same time as them?! 
I'm totally at a crossroads and of course I know the decision is ultimately mine, but I'd like some opinions. I mean, a second perspective couldn't hurt. 

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Style and the Workplace

For those of you who don't know, upon the return of my European venture, I have landed an office job. I am far more proud of meeting my Mothers deadline of ending the job hunt- let me tell ya, it's something to be proud of. 
There is a problem (well, there's a few problems, but I'm only going to get into the one here). Every morning I am faced with a terrible challenge. I wake up, look in my closet and think, "oh St. Anne, what do I wear?" (there's no patron saint of fashion or stylists so I hit up the saint of seamstresses. St. Anne and I have had some deep chats.) 
When I was 5, I would refuse to wear anything that wasn't a skirt or a dress. I really did fancy myself a princess and pants were not the most princessy attire. I then progressed to not wearing jeans- EVER until I got a super cute embroidered pair when I was about nine. After that, I've learnt to LIVE in jeans. 
It's not just the comfort issue. I'm gonna lay it out here: I'm a tall girl. I'm 5'10" and most clothes are made for girls who are 5'6". Thats 4 inches of body that often gets weirdly distributed in the leg, which just so happens to be where I hold like all of my height. 
"But Sandy," You're probably saying right now, as most do, "I always have to hem my pants, it's so annoying." My response is simple: shut up. At least you CAN hem your pants. Have you ever tried to ADD fabric? I promise you, the results are gross and they look like, well you tried to add fabric to the bottom of pants. Little bottom panels also make legs look shorter. "Well Sandy," You're no doubt thinking, "Buy pants in long!" Ok,  I would like you to go out into town, and first off, LOCATE the pants in long, and secondly, find them in a size above 8. Good luck to ya. 

I just wish people who had to hem pants would stop complaining. Seriously, If you don't want to pay a tailor, learn to sew. Or do what my friends do and find a friend who sews- just make sure ya buy her dinner for those hems. Us Seamstresses deserve it.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

call me corny but....

Maybe I've been listening to too many cheesey love songs, but I've been thinking a lot about love and attraction. Well more the attraction bit, why do we like the people we do?
I've also thought a lot about types, what constitutes a type, and why are we attracted to them?

Science has it all down to, well a science with a bunch of crap about hormones and pheremones and other stuff perfume companies try to sell us, but I can't help thinking it might be something more. Think about about it: The human brain is a computer, but yet it's far more sophisticated than a computer. If the entire thing was left to smell, symmetry and waist to hip ratio.... well that sounds so analytical. A computer- mind you it'd have to be a super fancy, not-from-now one, would still be able to analyze it. It would definitely explain the whole having a physical type. 

Lets move away from the physical though. A lot of theorizing has been done on why women who stay in abusive relationships are more likely to get into another one. Wouldn't one thing it would be the opposite simply because they know the signs? Why do they say women always go for men who are like their fathers? I think that there must be something more there. I think that people are more linked to emotions than to physical attributes, but why? How can we figure out what attributes are most pleasing to people? They did it with physical stuff didn't they?

People turn to science for answers, but what if there's no answer to the simple complexities of the human brain. It seems so obvious: people like nice people. What constitutes as nice? Many find the textbook idea of a good person to be overbearing and judgmental. 

There aren't really answers are there, and I'm not sure if I like the idea of some old guy in a lab coat mixing chemicals or slicing brains (There was an article in wired) to try to figure it out. I mean, should we really let someone who came up with the idea to slice up the human brain decide how we link emotions?

Monday, June 15, 2009

A Note About Coming Home

I've come to learn the true meaning of having a lifestyle. 
Ok, I'm going to backtrack on this one to May 14th. I was getting ready to go to Europe and quite frankly, I was not happy. Not about the Europe bit, about life, about my life. It's true I have amazing friends, and yes, I have a stable family and a super cute dog. I'm constantly upbeat so logically there can't be anything wrong, but yet there is.

I'm not exactly sure, but from the minute I came home I felt.... burdened. I'm not sure by what exactly, but It felt like a dark force (star wars moment) was pushing me into a cemetery that was my life here with the words "here lies responsibility, dental surgery your too scared to get, and secrets beyond any comprehension. Home, Rest in Peace". 

I realized something big: I left a life that I never really liked in the first place. How do you return to something that you don't want and somehow be okay with it? 
I've chosen to tolerate it, I got a job like my mom wanted, I'll keep living at home and wishing I never had to see my parents again and I'll be stuck in the rut of this lifestyle for as long as it takes me to shake things up again and get out of it. 
I just hope to god that happens really, really soon.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

2 of 3 have returned! :D

Greetings all! I got back from Scotland on Wednesday and threw myself right back into life on the west coast. Scotland seems like a WORLD away even though that's where I was just four or five days ago.

First of all, we had fantastic luck with the weather. Scotland is not known for it's good weather, so I had come prepared with largely on the warmer side clothes and rain coat and such, but does it rain? Not once. By the time we got to Edinburgh it was even quite warm and sunny, and we actually had to buy sunscreen (or sun cream as they call it), which shocked me... I actually got a teeny burn on my neck, I was astounded. I had been expecting torrential downpours and cold wet feet, but not sunshine and burn fear. :S Crazy times.

Second of all, both of the places we stayed in (one in Glasgow one in Edinburgh) were quite nice, but the one in Edinburgh was much better. The apartment in Glasgow was very nice: it was a set of three old town houses that had been converted into a hotel, and they were very ornate and elegant, but they could have done with an update and a bit of a cleaning. Not stylistically updated, you understand: no one more than myself appreciates a good dose of 19th century decorating. But you shouldn't have to sacrifice comfort for elegance. Like, the seat cushions on all of the (wonderful old) chairs were COMPLETELY worn out, so that when you sat down they sank so low you could barely get up again. Plus the cot they gave us (me) to sleep on (Grandma got the real bed, it was only right...) creaked something terrible and had very little support, but it wasn't too too bad. The real problem with the apartment was that it was just too far away from town and anytime we went somewhere we had to get a taxi, which got a bit expensive.

The Edinburgh apartment was much newer and therefore more comfortable. Plus it had a couch bed so I got some decent sleep, finally. For whatever reason we made much better use of the kitchen in the Edinburgh apartment as well (Dad thinks it's because we weren't out visiting or on trips in the evenings so much). The only trouble in this apartment was that it could have used a good dust and vacuum around the corners (there were a few dust bunnies and cobwebs), but other than that it was fine. We made good use of the washing machine, as both of us were running low on clean clothes.

Third, the shopping was Far better in Glasgow than in Edinburgh. In Edinburgh it seemed like every store we passed was almost exactly the same as the last, all selling fake, mediocre kilts and clan memorabilia at over hiked prices. Glasgow seemed much more like a real place, because there were just Far too many tourists in Edinburgh. It didn't help that Princes Street was completely under construction as they put in a new tram line, and nearly everything in the city that we visited was either closed already or about to be so. In other words, Edinburgh was not a very encouraging place. My advice would be to visit Glasgow.

I hope everyone is enjoying the good weather that seems to extend all the way around the globe at the moment! Happy summer time.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Back from Alaska!!

I got back from the wonderful, scenic, lazy vacation on Saturday. It made me even more lazy....I've barely done anything since I got back because I'm so used to being waited on, having my bed made for me everyday, and having the dinner napkin put on my lap. I'm not even kidding, they do EVERYTHING on that ship for you....well, except for spoon-feeding you haha! Simply put, it was awesome! I thought I'd be tired of cruising the 3rd time around or whatever, but boy was I surprised! This time, I think I was more into the scenic cruising destinations, especially Glacier Bay. It's breathtaking. The old towns of Alaska are pretty neat as well. I'd love to go back! It feels like my second home now! =P I kept a bit of a journal, as much as time allowed me to at least. It's hard to find downtime on a cruise vacation because there's just SO many fun things to do at all hours. Even when it's just a day at sea! The seasickness didn't hit me as hard this time. And yes, I had my first legal gambling experience onboard the ms. Zuiderdam :P. And the broadway shows were insane, and I always love the magic shows! I always hit the nightclub too haha! 18 is the legal age for pretty much everything onboard, aside from drinking. Speaking of vertigo, I'm still feeling it too. I'm riding imaginary waves!!! lol. Bought lots of stuff. I really don't want to get back to real life....I have to catch up on 3 chapters of reading...and I thought I was lazy before.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Vertigo....... it doubles as a song!

For the longest time I had no clue what vertigo meant. I honestly thought it was a word Marianas Trench made up. It's something they would do. Well, I'm sitting at an internet place in Greece and let me tell ya. Vertigo. I'm gonna be throwing up on the bus tomorrow.

Well actually I really hope not.... I don't want to give the tour guide E50, and I don't want to be the first one to throw up on the bus.

I've decided when I get home I'll write all the non raunchy bits of my travel journal up here, and give you all a full detail of my entire trip! Are you jazzed? I'm jazzed. Jazzy Jazzers!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

24 Hour Countdown Begins in... 2 Hours.

In keeping with the theme that seems to be developing, I thought I would just throw up a little post mentioning that I, too, am leaving. I am the last to go, though, as I'm leaving on a jet plane tomorrow. Let me tell you, killing time has been difficult since everybody left...

Anyway! I still haven't told you where I'm going. Is the suspense killing you? I hope so.

I am going to SCOTLAND!!! :D With my Scottish grandma, no less. Methinks I shall have a blast, yes? Absolutely. We're going to Glasgow for the first of two weeks, then Edinburgh for another week, and then home. She will show me around, plus I have a list and books and we can find info everywhere and all kinds of things! I might also go up to Loch Ness for a day! :D How rad is that?

And so, I shall wish myself bon voyage and see you all when I get back!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Alaska Vacaaation

Don't you just love that word? Vacation? *raises hand* So I'm leaving tomorrow...make that today....on a cruise!! To Alaska!! I've been there twice before, but it was a while ago. I plan to get a lot more out of it this time around. Can't wait to get some awesome snapshots of some wildlife and hundreds-of-years old glaciers. I hope it won't be usually does in Juneau. Reminds me of Vancouver. I was rushing around like a madwoman today gathering up everything I needed for the week...definitely underestimated the time to do all that. I did get it done though. Can't wait for the 5-star dining and service!! =) And the formalwear...and the shopping...and everything. I'll be back in van-city next Saturday. See you guys soon.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


So, I guess I'm leaving for Europe tomorrow... wow. My flight leaves at 3, wow. I can't believe it- I'm going for month, wow. 
Thats all thats been going through my mind lately, wow. I'm all prepped, I'm pretty much packed.
For those of you who don't know I started writing a music blog for Part of me leaving was having enough articles in to cover that while I'm away. I'm done that too. I know I'm leaving, like my body's processed it but... Something tells me no, your not really going. It's weird. I think because I've been planning it since forever it still feels like a theoretical idea, ya know? 

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Some Things.

1) Today I started my four day job with Elections BC at the advance voting pole.

2) Very few people voted... It got me thinking about voter apathy. This is a problem that I am not sure how to fix.

3) The vest that I worked on today looks FANTASTIC but I am slightly nervous that it will be a little on the small side... I think it should work out, though.

Thank you, good people, for reading through my thoughts! I would like to remind anyone reading this from BC to please Vote, regardless of your political stripe, and to please support BC-STV, which is a much fairer system than the one we have now!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Why British guitar teachers are necessary

So I picked up my guitar today and played a few chords. After a few minutes, my fingers really started to hurt. Dang....lost the hard-earned callouses. See, that's what happens when school happens. I kept telling myself, ok, when exams are over I'll practice everyday like I usually do. That didn't seems that I even procrastinate with hobbies now lol! So, I'll be setting up a few more dates with the British guitar teacher on DVD and my guitar in the near future, I'm sure! The fun-times need to be pain free!! =)

Saturday, May 2, 2009

it's like a cloud of maybe.

I think it's human nature to always doubt our abilities, at least once in a while. This brings me to the classic question in human psychology: nature vs. nurture. Is this trend toward never thinking you're good enough a byproduct of people just naturally doing it because they honestly don't think they are, or if it's because it's so ingrained into us. I mean, first off as a child there's always that douchebag in our class who is like faster and smarter and better so we have that "timmy will always be better than me even though he eats paste and can't keep his shirt on" complex. Or maybe it's the whole modesty thing. I mean sure, confidence is attractive, but no one likes the guy who's like "I rock at this! I'm the best! I know I'm so awesome and in 10 years they will all say Timmy is great and paste is the new superfood and it worked so well that Timmy and everyone else who eats paste can go shirtless for the rest of their days." (seriously though, don't eat paste. it tastes terrible even if you dilute it.) What if Timmy is really just insecure and putting on a mask and is just a really good actor? 

I'm a pretty good actress (look at me doing it, I've watched film of myself, I didn't recognize myself and caught me thinking "that girls good!" so I guess I'm good). I am confident, and I do know that I don't suck, but I always wonder if things could be different. What if I jumped that extra mile, what if I had done that? What if I hadn't done that?

That last ones been the kicker lately. 
People who know the extent of the situation say it wasn't my fault, it was the fault of the person who abused the privilege I gave them and then lied to me about it. I agree that that is true; however, I gave them the privilege. I didn't have to trust them but I did. No one was forcing me to, and in this situation they'd abused privileges before but I trusted them. I was confident in the situation and didn't think they could fuck it up as colossally as they did. I just don't want to be some senescent lump in a rocking chair wondering if my Scampers scampered away because of what I did or what someone else did, or lets just call it what happened. 

So what have we learnt? I'd like to say that the moral of the story is to cover up your emotions and not trust people. Be the overconfident douchebag or the feel shitty about yourself mouse. I wish I could say that, but it's so unnatural. People are meant to be social, to take risks, to love and to sometimes regret and wish. People were meant to hope. I'm sorry to all the people who say I should give up on my hope and I realize I'm annoying you more than anything ever could. Thanks for putting up with it, and I really, really hope you'll continue to do so because I can't give up on my hope. It's all I have in this situation right now. Hope and a cloud of maybe. 

rock, flag, eagle

Just to write a little something before I'm off to bed.
I read Sandy's last blog and as I told her, I found it to be very moving as she connected her situation with human nature. Very introspective. (I'm psychic....see above)

I wanted to talk about tattoos and the meaning and abundace of them in modern society...conversing with friends and fan-ternet surfing sparked some interest. Of course, the numbers and acceptance of them has changed over the last few decades substantially. Really, my opinion of them keep changing. Like, some people get them for aesthetics, which is completely fine because it's the individual's body....but it's permanent. I know I wouldn't want a piece of jewellery or a colour of eyeshadow stuck to my body for the rest of my life. It's permanent accessorizing. But to me, it all changes when there's a long-lasting meaning attached to the tattoo.

ok, I'm going to use the example of David Cook. And no, I'm not obsessed =P. His heartthrob tattoo and brain cancer awareness ribbon on his chest symbolize his friends and their razzing and the love for his brother, respectively. I think this is something that stays with you forever...because they're memories and they represent important people who are in your life. Really, the fact that they were once in your life never changes. The connotation of these people could very well change, however. Sticking with the example, too many can really be too much. Today I was stalking his official site and I came across a picture of David's new tattoo: a colourful eagle with the words "Rock Flag Eagle" inscripted in it. Theories: it could be something frivolous and ostentatious (probably not because all 5 of his tats mean something), it could be taken from a line in "Always Sunny in Philidelphia", or it could be to commemorate his USO tour. I really hope it's the third. This means that he has a tattoo on both arms in the same place...underside of the bicep. When you have too many, the other ones really do lose a lot of their significance. I think one more may be the tipping point of the "too much".

So, I just have to say that tattoos CAN be something special and something that physically represent aspects of the self (wearing your heart on your sleeve, anyone?) if used with taste. That's my take on the matter anyway. Now, if DC would just get his arse in the Pacific westcoast...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A (Very) Brief Rant.

Today I read in the paper that the mayor of Richmond is refusing to put the name of the olympic speed skating oval in both French and English. Apparently it's a municipal building. I say not true; this building is going to be the focus of people across the world, and should therefore fairly represent Canada, not just Richmond. Canada has two official languages, and the second is French. Use it.

And now, if you're interested in something a little more positive, read Sandy's post below. She's excited :P

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

excitement + PSA sandy style.

ok, now that the excitement is over, i'll explain. 
for the past couple of months i've been waiting for a corset i got custom made. i had to get it custom because i have a long torso and i wanted it higher so i'd be like boobs, but not BOOBS! ya know?
anyway, i finally have it. it's black satin and dear god i love it. 

as for other points of interest i went to belly dancing. 
ok, pause. 
a think about the swine flu just came on tv and i'm a little scared. pandemics get me, more so since i've started taking public transit. i was on skytrain this morning and someone coughed and like i freaked a bit. like by coughed i mean HACKED. 

so heres my announcement for the day: 
if you are sick, stay home. 
just don't get me sick. stay. home.

Monday, April 27, 2009

A Knitting Update

Today my aunt—who is essentially responsible for getting me on the knitting train, although it was a friend of mine who got me kick-started—dropped by for a cup of tea. We got to talking about knitting, and it took up about half of our discussion, so now my head is aswirl with needles and yarn and all kinds of wonderful textile project possibilities. I thought I might share a few here.

The project I'm currently working on is a cardigan from a book called Hip To Knit. It's supposed to be a book for beginners with a few easy projects that progress through the basics from scarves to hats to mittens to sweaters. My aunt (yes, the same one mentioned above) handed off some orange/brown/yellow yarn to me (which is why I call it my candy corn cardigan), and I thought it would suit the pattern. Unfortunately the gauge is doing all kinds of weird things, so I'm basically just having to ignore any and all stitch counts they give me and just knit according to the measurements in the back. Regardless of whether the stitch count is right, I think it'll turn out well, as long as I can make it the right size.

After that I'll be starting a vest. A while ago I bought some lovely green yarn, very slightly variegated, from one of the yarn stores in Vancouver. I've had my eye on this pattern for a while (it's the scoop neck vest by blue sky alpaca if anyone's wondering), and I thought this would be lovely. Plus, I have very little green in my wardrobe, so I thought this would add a little much-needed variety.

After that I have another cardigan sort of thing lined up. It' a bit of a cropped jacket with a Wonderful high collar. I found this absolutely incredible multicoloured yarn at a fibre festival out in Abbotsford a few weeks ago, and it'll suit the pattern wonderfully (it's the 28thirty jacket by Sarah & Rachel). I think I'll do it with half or 3/4 sleeves, just because I'll save a little yarn that way.

Anyway, that's it for now! Happy knitting ^_^

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Things are changing... I think.

This is going to be a brief one, because I don't think there's that much that I really want to put out there. But there are still a few thoughts running through my head that I'd like to share.

The first is that we are all getting older, and that it's remarkable how much our roles in the game of life change as we age. A few of my friends are in faster programs than my own (including our dear Sandy), and they'll have to get real jobs (i.e. careers) and start living adult lives soon, possibly in the next few months. Given that I still have yet to a) have a real job and b) move out of my parents house, and c) am going to be in university for about the next 6 years at the very least, this is a staggering thought to me. I mean, I've been a kid with very few real responsibilities for my entire life. Soon I'll have to start thinking in a completely different mindset about how I live my life. It's a little scary, really...

The second is that, as we age and change, we grow apart from the people we ally ourselves with. It's hard to stop it, and we feel differently about each of these changing relationships, but they are changing regardless. I'm not really sure what to do about it: do I maintain the ties I have to people who I really have nothing in common with anymore, and how can I mold the ones who I do still have ties with into the new relationships that may be forming?

In short, life is complicated. True story.

nightly thoughts.

you know how you always saw the girls in archie comics talking about how their nose is shiny?
i never got that until like right now. it's like theres a flat bridge coming off my nose. like a ski jump. 
i read somewhere that to promote healthy body image one should stare at themselves in the mirror and watch the flaws just disappear. the part of that i question is in real life, how many people are going to just stare at you that long. really after a couple vigorous minutes of this excersize the only thing i've looked at is my eyes. and chin. 
i never used to think anything was wrong with my chin until a girl in my  class pointed out that it was connected to my neck in a manner that gave me no real silhouette. 
i hate her for saying that. 
since then all i've looked at is my chin. i used to love my neck, i thought it was long and beautiful, now i see it as the enemy. after many more events i've come to see her as the enemy too. like who points out stuff like that? 
who DOES that?
anyway, i don't really know the point of this, i think it's the pinot noir. but i've been feeling really prone to hiding lately. i was staring at myself in the mirror on the car ride home today, and just thought, wow. i'm really here. this is really now, and i'm really not who i thought i would be when i was 6. it was startling and sad and everything. 

Thursday, April 23, 2009

First Blog!!

So, this being my very first blog on this most aweome blog site, I would like to introduce myself! My name is Jennifer, but I prefer Jen (people call me Jennifer when they're either angry or flabbergasted at me). I'm 18 and am currently a student at Simon Fraser Univers-i-tee (sorry, Terry the light tech's accent is getting to me ahaha). As of now, I'm focusing my area of study on Communicatons and Psychology. I would like to thank Sandy and roses_are_red for allowing me to contribute to this blog. Love ya gals! <3

Stemming from the University-talk segway, I feel very relieved and unburdened because I wrote my last exam of the semester....which means that I've pretty much completed my first year of university...woah. I do have to say after these past 2 semesters of university education and all of grade school, the consequences of exam and academic preparation are becoming more and more explicit. I use the fancy term that is semi-fabricated of anti-relational interdepence (as seen on my Twitter). It's basically a flexible wall put between you and important people in your lives when other priorities exist. I say it's flexible because you do have some control over the matter. But sometimes, the fact that we have control just isn't enough. Pressure it parental, academic, peer, or just having-a-good-life-when-you-"grow-up" (yeah, I definitely will be grown up after all my education is done with). This comes from a personal experience a few days ago, where, because of studying, I chose not to visit my Grandma in the hospital after a fall because I reasoned that I visted her the day before. Ipso facto, I missed a visit from my Uncle, Aunt, and cousin who I rarely see. Now, I'm not the one to use external attributions, but still....the situation was 90% out of my hands. So, do academic pursuits severely weaken one's social bonds? Do they screw up our priorities? How much control do we really have over situations like above?

Just had to make that little spiel now that a little vacation of mine is starting, free of academia!! =) =) What better way to start it than to have a Twilight party with some of my favourite people!! Let the swooning, bonding, and Edward vs. Jacob war begin!!!!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

lessons from my brothers relationship fail.

1) do not sleep w/ a guy on the first date especcially if it's your first. it will not end well and you will want to cling to him forever simply because of that fact
2) if your on psychiatric meds, take them. the instructions are on the bottle. how do you mess that up?
3) don't move in together in the first week. too much time together is just as bad as too much time apart. 
4) the bulk of your relationships together time should not be spent on an interactive internest computer game, no matter how much fun you think your having. just because your sitting beside each other doesn't mean that your spending time together

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Exams... blegh.

Sunshine is great; but really, it makes difficult things harder to deal with.

Today is my last exam. Unfortunately I'm having a very difficult time concentrating on getting through the exam itself rather than the fact that I'm almost out, so close to the end I can almost touch it. There are so many other things whizzing through my skull (Scotland, Twilight, knitting projects, and bunnies, to name a few) that it's hard to think of Canadian history as my first priority. I wish my head had a rewind-and-pause button so I could go back to the time when I was worried about one thing and one thing only: my history exam. Perhaps then I wouldn't feel quite so simultaneously calm and terrified...

The lesson to be learned here: my mind is a strange, strange place.

Enjoy the sunshine, everybody! :D

Monday, April 20, 2009

Creative Copying

How do you prove that your ideas are originally yours? They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flatter, personally I think it's the sincerest form of get your own fucking idea and don't pretend like you created something. 

The thing is, you can't really call credit. If you say anything then you look like a total bitch, and if you don't then you just feel like crap because someone else ripped off your idea and your mind. you feel cheap and used, and it's not the best feeling. 

right now i'm feeling pretty gross.

this may be considered a jane eyre spoiler.

I just finished Jane Eyre. It was wayy better than i thought it would be, but the end bugged me. 
If you haven't read the book, heres a brief overview: Jane grows up in a gross aunts family, Jane goes to boarding school, Jane falls in love, Jane leaves the guy, Jane goes back to him.
Something about the book didn't sit right with me, I think it's that she goes back to him. He hurt her, he showed her love but he was so dishonest with her. What in her right mind would make Jane not only think about him in her long absence, but then go back and marry the stormy petrel of a man. 

I guess it has to do with familiarity. Even if it doesn't feel right at the moment, it did at some time and maybe we just want that right to last forever. the problem is that nothing really stays right forever. things change, and it may be a different kind of right, but it won't be that pure strong right that we had before it got messed by people, by whatever. the worst of it is when you can pinpoint what screwed up the right. All that preoccupies your mind is what would happen if i hadn't done that? what if this had happened? would it have changed?

Think about it, if Jane hadn't run away and been Mr. Rochesters little mistress, would she have been happy? would he ever had married her once he everything he wanted and no commitment, no mystery, no hope? 
or if she had stayed in the little town and not gone back to him? would she have married st. john? would she have gone to india? would she have just stayed there and wasted away?
what if mr. rochester had stopped liking her in that time? what would she have done to get that love back to the way it was? what if she could just stay in a painful friendship waiting and waiting with no hope anything more would come, and all that she would feel is pain?
what if she tried, what if she tried for SO long but couldn't swallow the love and so all she did was hurt? 
what if mr. rochester decided he had never loved her at all?

Sunday, April 19, 2009

What happens to guided writing after high school.

for those of you who don't know, i have a mild obsession with those facebook survey things. last night i did an amazing one that prompted me to write mini essays which i'm pretty sure were only read by annie. 
since i think i actually had some valid points in these, i'm going to answer them in more detailed ways here. 
this may or may not be because i've been really uninspired lately and have turned to guided writing. if i have something actually interesting going on in my head though, i'll do that. 

First Question: What would you do if you won the lottery?
First off, i'd have to know what type of lottery it is. If i won two bucks off of a scratch card I would probably jump up and down in sheer happiness, which is kind of sad because i mean, it's $2. but then, i've come to the conclusion that people think my major excitement over minor things is sad and childish but my view is simple: if you were to only get excited over something really big that happened then you'd have a really boring really crappy life. happiness and overreaction keep things interesting, keep the happiness and life in someone. 
However, if i did win the big one, i'd love to say i'd donate all the money to charity and make the world better or whatever, but the first thing I'd do is buy a plane ticket to ontario. I had a terrible thought the other day and it's been plaguing me ever since: January was probably the last time I'm ever going to see my Grandma. Such an amazing person, and I feel like I hardly know her or any of my dad's family. I don't even write to her, how hard is it to grab the phone, or whip up a letter? At the same time though, I don't think I can spend more than a week in Peterborough at a time because well, i'm considered pretty chill in my family, and when i'm considered chill lord knows what everyone else is like. Also, i mean.... now don't get me wrong, i love the country, and i think if i had a like farm or forest to explore or a place to roam around and get my feet wet in i could do it, but it's hard staying inside all the time. i need to be able to know a city well enough to roam around and have something to do.

When I was two months old I moved to Spain. One day my mother was walking with a friend when a gypsy came up to her and started talking. Despite being fluent in Italian, my mother couldn't and still cannot speak or understand much Spanish. The Gypsy never mentioned the word for money, but instead started waving her arms about, "oh look, she's doing a dance!" was all my mother could comprehend. After she left her friend turned to her and said, "you know she just put a curse on Sandra right?" 
I got told that story when I was 12 and ever since crepuscular thoughts have pondered what i might have been fated too.
one of the most common theories is that I have an innate sense of boredom. no matter how exciting or amazing my life gets i still feel like nothings happening, like i have no friends and i'm just a big mess that has no real benefits. Maybe it's more of a laziness or a lack of self satisfaction. who knows. 
Anyway, i think i've successfully proven what I figured out in high school, guided writing doesn't work because when writing earnestly one cannot possibly stay on a topic. 

Thursday, April 16, 2009

sunshine! ^_^

I don't know about the rest of you, but I, for one, am SO GLAD to see the sun.

Here in Vancouver it's basically been raining (or at least heavily overcast... and then there was the abnormally high amount of snow...) since, oh, say November of last year? Maybe even October. So needless to say, it's rather a relief to see a little sunshine and feel something other than frigidly cold.

Just wanted to wish everybody a Happy Springtime! :D

Friday, March 27, 2009

More politics... (This one is still an issue!)

The provincial budget in BC has hugely scaled back on funding to post-secondary education. As far as I know, both SFU and UBC are being hard-hit by these budget cuts, although I wouldn't be surprised if SFU is being harder hit. Apart from this being outrageous (in the most literal sense of the word), they are masking it by taking the funds they cut from some areas and adding them to others. I mean, it's like cutting off someone's foot and telling them "but if you hold onto it and try to walk on your hands, it'll still work!" Unbelievable.

This week what really got me down about this was that I found out on Monday that they are considering closing down the entire department of humanities (not the arts and social sciences faculty, that's a different thing) up at SFU as a result of the budget cuts. I mean, where does the provincial government get off essentially deciding what kind of education we can get? A friend of mine is currently working on a minor in the humanities. What is she supposed to do with all the work that she's put in over the years if the department she was studying in disappears? The entire Arts and Social Sciences faculty is suffering hugely, and I have to say I am DISGUSTED by this. Why are the sciences and business faculties more important than the arts? Is the government trying to build some kind of elitist society that only thinks with one side of their brain??? (Not that that side is in any way inferior, it's very important: we just need a well-rounded society, and one that is entirely focused on science won't cut it).

In any case, I am rather ticked off with the government. The two good things I will say about Gordon Campbell are that he supports STV, and he supports a carbon tax. Otherwise, gtfo of my legislature.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

the issues are issues until no one cares, then there just... things.

you know what i find increasingly entertaining? 

that if something like annie's political thing- i think it's stv. which i think was a fabulous comedy show way back when. well maybe not fabulous. no, it was fabulous. kids in the hall was the slightly less fabulous one, except for the these are the daves i know song. how many years later and i still can hear the "these are the daves i know i know! these are the daves i know!" gooooooood times. 

anyway, i'm not going to be for or against it because i'm not sure it's the right thing. i don't know why, but something about it makes me unsure. maybe it's because if we conglomerate all the mp's, how are we supposed to decide the prime minister? 
anyway, all i'm going to be saying, is aside from annie, no ones kerfuffling. when i watch the california channel at my nonna's every second ad is a persuasion ad telling you to vote this or vote that on whatever issue. i seriously think i saw a hard hat law on one. like, people there are really into it. 
here no one really knows about anything. does this mean we don't care? maybe thats why voter turnout was so low this year. all the old people do it, but really people in my demographic have lost the will to really comprehend the issues, let alone form opinions about them. then there's the people with strong opinions making the ads. 

i think it might be a bit of an issue of speech. everyone is so focused on being open minded and politically correct that were at the point where the only way to not offend someone is to not think. i think we need to accept the fact that people argue and thats ok. 
the whole world isn't sugar coated, so if someone pisses you off, accept and deal with it. lets get our opinions back, ya with me?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


So, if you're living in BC, you may (or may not) have heard about something called the Single Transferable Vote, or STV. I would like to talk to you a little about why this lovely system has been floating around lately.

In 2001, we had a provincial election. The BC Liberal Party took (quite literally) all but two of the seats in the BC legislature in that election. Thus, the Citizens' Assembly for Electoral Reform came into being, and consisted of one man and one woman from every provincial riding in our wonderful province. This assembly looked into all kinds of ways to fix the electoral system that had allowed such a colossal majority without the same level of public support, and found the STV. They voted more than 90% in favour of this system as a means of fixing our government.

Four years later, in 2005, there was a referendum in BC. When we had our provincial election, there was an extra question on the ballot. The question was this:

Should British Columbia change to the BC STV electoral system as recommended by the Citizens' Assembly on Electoral Reform?

The threshold for changing over to the STV system was 60%, higher than the required threshold for the Quebec separatist referendum in 1995. BC voted in favour of STV by a majority of only a little more than 57%. For this reason, we are still using the First-Past-The-Post system.

Now what is STV, you say? It is a system of Proportional Representation in Government. That means that the number of elected officials in government will reflect the amount of popular support they have among the populace. For example, if the green party has 8% of popular support, they will also have close to 8% of the seats.

The number of seats in parliament doesn't change, but the way that candidates run and that ridings are organized will. For example, an area that currently contains 5 ridings might be amalgamated into one large riding. In this riding, the same number of candidates that run under the current system would campaign during the election; that is to say that each party would run five candidates for this one super-riding. Voters would then pick and choose which politicians they would like to have represent them by numbering them off in order of preference. You don't even have to number off every candidate: if you only want to select eight, four or two of the given candidates, that's fine. Choose as many as you like; just make sure you don't give any candidate the same number. You've all done this before, I'm sure, in one form or another; it's the same as being given a list of films and marking them off in order of preference.

When the votes are counted, they are put into groups. Each person's first choice is initially counted, but if the number of votes for that candidate does not reach the threshold to gain a seat (which would be different in every riding depending on the voter turn out), then the person's second choice would be counted instead. This process would continue until each of the seats for the riding are filled and each ballot has been put towards a vote of some kind. In this way, everyone gets some level of representation, rather than being completely cut out of the governing process, as occurs often under the current system.

In this way, each large ridings would have a group of representatives instead of just one. There would therefore be a level of cooperation necessary to represent each riding, and everyone would have some say in the decisions made, rather than having the views of one party governing all.

If this sounds like a good idea to you (and you live in BC and can vote), then VOTE YES TO BC STV!!!

If you need more infos, check out

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

make. it. stop.

thank god this is over in 64 days. if it was even one day longer i would probably have to kill myself. 
it's only been a half hour into class and my "teacher" has already insulted me and discouraged me. like why am i here? shouldn't they be trying to get people into the dying industry? not discouraging them so all they do is feel like crap. yesterday we got talked to about not posting negative things about the school on fb during class time. i blocked the director. 

i actually woke up this morning and thought i would have a good day. but i guess i forgot i had to go here.

Monday, March 2, 2009

oh the things school does to me.

i hate this place. 
i'm getting really frustrated with show production, like we're doing a worksheet and like, ok, everyone has to read their answers. 
oh dear god, she's looking right at me, does she know i'm dissing her on the internest? 
ok, i think i'm ok. anyway, 
it's like i'm really sick with people being babies in this class, were all supposed to be adults, yet the two youngest are the only ones who get it. 

Saturday, February 28, 2009

maybe I should be one of those people who hate organized religion.

It's really easy to tell when people clearly don't want you around. 
I was briefly involved in this catholic thing for students called cco. every month they do this prayer thing, and the one time i went, it was amazing. i went to toronto for it. i had so much fun, everybody from not vancouver was super welcoming. however, the girl i originally started it with constantly ditched me. 
i wanted to find out where the monthly thing was tonight, and so for the past week i've been calling her and fbing her, but she just hasn't responded. I finally called her tonight- one last chance and she informed me that her and "a bunch of friends are going." did she invite me in with this group of friends? no. she did not. theres nothing that makes you feel crappier than when someone is showing all the signs they don't want you around, it'd just be easier to be "I don't want you coming." it'd hurt less and then at least I wouldn't make excuses for her. Truth is, this would've probably happened all over again next month, but it won't. I get it. it sucks and it hurts, but i get it. 

Monday, February 23, 2009

i don't get it.

Today I realized that I don't ever want to be the girl who sleeps with random people. 
a girl i happen to acquaint with has gotten herself in quite a pickle because she slept with a manager at the restaurant she works at. (and no, i don't feel bad about telling the world, because she told everyone REPEATEDLY!) 
isn't this the stuff people try to hide? i most certainly don't go running around getting drunk on school nights and sleeping with random guys, but if i did you bet your buns i'd shut up about it. 

i just don't understand the people i'm surrounded by. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

a note to bands.

so today i looked at concert listings and what do i see? 
band i like - playing in club
band i like - playing in club
band i hate - playing all ages venue
band i like - playing in club. 
ok, wtf?! how hard is it for bands to just play in normal all ages locations? some of us can't go to clubs ya know! like, they lost money, not only would i have bought the $50 ticket, but i would've bought a t shirt! so like WHY?! 
just thought i'd explode. 

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Magical Main Street Knitting Adventure

We might as well get the most important points out of the way as quickly as possible, and those are my purchases. They are/were as follows:

1 (one) skein of Cascade 220 in a lovely goldenrod yellow that doesn’t appear to have a name…
1 (one) 2.5 mm crochet hook for my leg warmers
1 (one) copy of the Blue Sky Alpaca Scoop Neck Vest

And now, the events of the day.

I started off by going over to the bank machine at lougheed mall to get some cash. Then I got on the skytrain, got off at Commercial station and caught the 99 B-Line to Main St. The #3 Main then took me up to Three Bags Full, where I was supposed to meet with the other knitters/shoppers. Lin (the organizer of the club/trip) happened to be on the same #3 as me, so we chatted and showed up late together, both having underestimated the amount of time it took to get from North East Burnaby to Main Street. Ginny was already in TBF waiting for us, and we three turned out to be the only ones who showed up (which wasn’t entirely unexpected, but was fine/still fun). We toddled about in there for a while, and I got my vest pattern (the store manager person found it for me, I think Emma said her name was Kitty?), Lin and Ginny both got some hemp and a few other skeins of yarn that I didn’t notice the type of. I noticed the cascade 220 in the yellow but couldn’t decide what I would do with it, so I left it.
We then sauntered on down to Birkland Bros. We wandered by my FAVOURITE store in the entire lower mainland, a place called Lazy Susan. It’s essentially an assembly of the coolest vintagey-type accessories and knick-knacks you could ever want. It was closed, however… that was really disappointing. Once we got to Birkland Bros., I got my crochet hook (for the heel slit of the leg warmers I’m working on), even though it was technically .25 mm too small. I couldn’t find 2.75 mm crochet hooks at either place. They must not exist… I’m just going to go a little loose on this, which shouldn’t be too difficult, as I’m a loose knitter/crocheter at the best of times. I still had the yellow cascade 220 on my mind, but we were all getting a little hungry by this time, so we had a lunch type break over at Bean Around the World, the coffee shop across the street. I had a yummy pumpkin spice muffin and steamed milk.
After this, I decided to go back up to Three Bags Full for the yellow cascade 220. I had decided that a slouchy beret would be appropriate in that colour, and that, given my loud personality, I could probably pull it off. Ginny and I went back up, but Lin had to go and return some socks at MEC, so we parted ways at the café.
As Ginny and I headed back up the street, we passed the Regional Assembly of Text (at least I think that’s what it’s called). She made herself a button, which I could definitely do some time… I must look into it. There were five million things in there that I would love to buy, not least of which are the squillions of old type writers lying around. I don’t know that those are on sale, though. Oh well, I’ll find out next time. It was really just a generally wonderful place.
Once we got back into Three Bags Full, we were basically the only ones there. I suppose it was because it was essentially lunch time… In any case, I made a b-line for the yellow cascade. I asked one of the ladies which hat she suggested I make with it, and she showed me a cably beret that I did quite like, but then the manager person (again, kitty?) said I should just look for a free pattern on Ravelry, there are TONS. I have since done this, and she was not wrong. (For those of you who don’t know, Ravelry is a website that is essentially facebook focused entirely on knitting and crocheting). So all I bought was the yarn in the end, but I have a few patterns in mind for it now, thanks to the magic of the Internet.
Ginny and I caught a bus down to the main street skytrain station and headed back to Production. As soon as I got home I started searching for a hat pattern, and now I’m going to work on my leg warmers. Today has been a good day indeed.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

carcinogenic chemicals aren't THAT harmful anyway.

today in textiles (and by today i mean 5 minutes ago), the teacher tried to convince us that dry cleaning was more environmentally friendly than laundry. 
so basically what my $10,000 boutique education said is that despite the fact that dry cleaning seeps carcinogenic chemicals into the ground water and air in large amounts, not to mention the gas spent driving to and from the dry cleaner,  and DESPITE the fact that the chemicals from the cleaning leech into your skin and cause many harmful health defects, including but not limited too cancer, it's really not that bad for us or the environment. 
i mean, cancer doesn't really kill us does it?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

i need a job.

have you ever just sat and thought "wow, i need to get a job now" 
thats my life right now. i like to shop, it's my favorite. i also like to eat out a lot. 
i have one client lined up, and then my shop (for those of you who don't know, check it out and fund my life.) but i mean, how good am i doing REALLY?! 
not so well, to be perfectly honest. i mean, i spend wayyy more than i bring in. 
the point, good lord i need a job.

Friday, January 30, 2009

VOTE YES TO BC STV. Get the word out.

So, if you're living in BC, you may (or may not) have heard about something called the Single Transferable Vote, or STV. I would like to talk to you a little about why this lovely system has been floating around lately.

In 2001, we had a provincial election. The BC Liberal Party took (quite literally) all but two of the seats in the BC legislature in that election. Thus, the Citizens' Assembly for Electoral Reform came into being, and consisted of one man and one woman from every provincial riding in our wonderful province. This assembly looked into all kinds of ways to fix the electoral system that had allowed such a colossal majority without the same level of public support, and found the STV. They voted more than 90% in favour of this system as a means of fixing our government.

Four years later, in 2005, there was a referendum in BC. When we had our provincial election, there was an extra question on the ballot. The question was this:

Should British Columbia change to the BC STV electoral system as recommended by the Citizens' Assembly on Electoral Reform?

The threshold for changing over to the STV system was 60%, higher than the required threshold for the Quebec separatist referendum in 1995. BC voted in favour of STV by a majority of only a little more than 57%. For this reason, we are still using the First-Past-The-Post system.

Now what is STV, you say? It is a system of Proportional Representation in Government. That means that the number of elected officials in government will reflect the amount of popular support they have among the populace. For example, if the green party has 8% of popular support, they will also have close to 8% of the seats.

The number of seats in parliament doesn't change, but the way that candidates run and that ridings are organized will. For example, an area that currently contains 5 ridings might be amalgamated into one large riding. In this riding, the same number of candidates that run under the current system would campaign during the election; that is to say that each party would run five candidates for this one super-riding. Voters would then pick and choose which politicians they would like to have represent them by numbering them off in order of preference. You don't even have to number off every candidate: if you only want to select eight, four or two of the given candidates, that's fine. Choose as many as you like; just make sure you don't give any candidate the same number. You've all done this before, I'm sure, in one form or another; it's the same as being given a list of films and marking them off in order of preference.

When the votes are counted, they are put into groups. Each person's first choice is initially counted, but if the number of votes for that candidate does not reach the threshold to gain a seat (which would be different in every riding depending on the voter turn out), then the person's second choice would be counted instead. This process would continue until each of the seats for the riding are filled and each ballot has been put towards a vote of some kind. In this way, everyone gets some level of representation, rather than being completely cut out of the governing process, as occurs often under the current system.

In this way, each large ridings would have a group of representatives instead of just one. There would therefore be a level of cooperation necessary to represent each riding, and everyone would have some say in the decisions made, rather than having the views of one party governing all.

If this sounds like a good idea to you (and you live in BC and can vote), then VOTE YES TO BC STV!!!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Charity and Innocence

what do you think of when you picture a child? 
white dresses? flowers? ducks?
It saddens me that helping others has become a form of childishness. I was telling my friend a story about Frassati. Pier Giorgio Frassati was born into one of the richest families in Italy. He got put up for sainthood by JP2. Thats not the point of this story though, the point is how he lived his life. 
One night in Berlin, with the temperature at twelve degrees below zero, he gave his overcoat to a poor old man shivering with cold. His father scolded him, and he replied simply and matter-of-factly: "But you see, Papa, it was cold."
My friend said it was so innocent, with a negative connotation. my question to her, and all of you is how did putting others in need before ourselves become a negative thing? 

i've been looking into volunteer vacations. don't get me wrong- i love having fun and partying in other places just as much as the next person, but what if i could also help someone? i could build someone a house, or help teach a kid to read.... 
i think i'm just starting to realize the potential i have to help the world.
the friend i was arguing with believes that only people elected into office can help the world, and it is a valid point, i mean, they do have huge potential. I however, side with Mother Teresa: 
"do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person"

Sunday, January 25, 2009

to do

it's the worlds strangest phenomenon: every time i go to start homework i end up getting out the travel books and just plan to go. i have like 8 plans in total, but i think the best one is the simple idea of work where it's safe, volunteer where it's not. 

in class on wed. we had to do a list of 5 fantasy lives. everyone did things like "i want to go here, i want to be this." i really had a problem with it. travel is not on my "fantasy" list, it's on my to do list.  i got reprimanded for believing that fantasy is crap? 

ok, well maybe it's not crap... being able to think what if is always nice. but for me it's more like "what if i had a sister?" "what if i was popular in high school?" fantasy is what i can't change, and i like to keep it that. 

i guess it all ties together-ish. the basic thing, travel is on my to do list. i WILL do it. 
and i probably won't have naturally bright red hair and bigger lips. 
get it?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

hot dam, i love surveys!

today i was greeted by an envelope from the burnaby school district. my first thought was, "oh shit! did i not grad?!" but it was just a survey. Since I go a little crazy with comment sections, I decided to share my response to high school.
enjoy :)

Alpha really was just a crap school, they couldn't even keep my math provincal grades straight which really put me behind and cancelled all chances of me going to a proper university. 

The switch to mountain was the best thing i've ever done, it was really a warm environment. People weren't all about the cliques. 

As for teachers, I had some the really stood out. At Alpha, Ms. Meltzer, Ms. Leung, Ms. Morgan and Mr. Morton rocked, and at mountain Ms. Yakiwchuck gets special mention. 

Speaking of Ms. Yakiwchuck, I recently went back to mountain to attend a drama performance my cousin was in. It deeply saddened me to see that the store was closed. Honestly, the store was the only reason I went to school. I had to do a better job than these two horrid divas in my class. Let the kids have their candy and capitalism. School district, I am sorry, you are not their parents and food control is the job of the parents. 

I also strongly disagree with the P.E system. I do not kick balls and run, I do plies and jetes. I don't want to be in a class with a testosterone driven hoard of boys who want to play hockey/basketball/soccer/volleyball. Some kids hate sport. There is nothing wrong with this. At parent teacher nights we were shoveled all this crap about how PE is about fitness for life. How many idiotic boys and prissy girls do you think still play hockey/basketball/soccer/volleyball? None! they get drunk at "awesome" frat parties and rely on procreation for their main form of physical activity- Go sex ed! 

Which brings me to another segment of this survey. I know abstinence-only sex education is far from effective, but I don't recall abstinence or methods of being intimate besides sex even being mentioned. If FOCA passes in the US there is very little doubt that Canada will soon have similar laws. Abortion rates for girls aged as young as 11 or 12 will rise. 13 year old girls need to be taught that even though people still insist upon a futile debate about whether or not it's murder, one must agree that the emotional and physical side effects of an abortion or sex in general are far too much for a young girl to handle because she didn't know there were other ways to have a good relationship and be intimate. I can gladly speak to virginity and say it works.

I am sure your questions on work preparation are referring to planning 10. Planning 10 was the biggest waste of my life, ever. My teacher- Ms. O'Reilly was absolutely fabulous, but at 15 i wasn't even a little bit prepared to think about what i wanted to do with my life. A course like this is a decent (ish) idea for a 12th grader, but grade 10 is too young. 

As for choosing a career, I don't feel there was much diversity in the jobs presented to me. What if I wanted to be a fabric sourcer? An import/export consultant? A liquor agent? A dog breeder?
Don't get me wrong, high school didn't completely suck all of the time. There are just many opportunities for improvement and very few for me to voice my ideas. Thank you very much for reading and considering my comments. 
S. Smith

P.S: the environment is dying, cut down on the paper and eliminate staples.

Sunday, January 11, 2009


Have you ever just not understood someones brain? just like actually like wondered what goes through a persons mind? 
this happened to me last night: My brother and his gf came home at 2:22am. i remember waking up and making a wish. oddly enough i woke up at 11:11... anyway, i just have no idea what in his mind thought it'd be ok to come home at 2 am. 
i mean, the alarm went off, monty went nuts and he came in my room and said "get up, i want a sandwich" ok, 1) ummmm no, and 2) his gf was RIGHT there! 
of course after that i couldn't get to sleep, and i mean, honestly, why can't he just not come home?

Friday, January 9, 2009

I miss the nineties...

There is nothing on TV. Ever. With the exception of one set of shows; old (amazing) nineties sitcom reruns.

They're starting to take over TV, during the day at least. Primetime is still full of hospital dramas and reality shows, not to mention horrid gameshows. In any case, I think the resurgence of these shows is proof that human nature should not be made to take its own flaws so seriously all the time. The fact of the matter is that we miss comedy, but the TV industry hasn't quite caught up with that yet, so we're being made to relive ancient episodes of Home Improvement, The Fresh Prince, and Seinfeld, in all their high-waisted-jean and mullet-filled glory. Personally, I'm loving it; these shows are infinitely better than more than half of what is getting pumped out for our "entertainment" these days. However, I'd still like something new... this is why 30 rock makes me happy ^_^ Finally someone's brought back a sitcom... And there are others, like Arrested Development, short lived though it was, bringing back the almost lost, but not forgotten, art of making people laugh and feel good about themselves, because they see their own flaws in these characters. And even if they don't, then they often become so ridiculous that it doesn't matter. These are great shows, and I wish we could have more of them.

Now all we need are the old nineties cartoons to come back, and I might actually watch some TV occasionally.

P.S. I would love Hugh Laurie to go back to his properly comedic roots, too... Blackadder and Wooster Forever!!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

fake internet confidence

You hear a lot of negative crap about those people, generally girls, who add everyone they've ever said two words too on facebook. ok, sure it gets annoying getting a friend request from someone you said hi to once, but think about it: imagine how much confidence it takes to add someone and risk not being added back. 
ok, i guess i should explain how this happened, i met someone in toronto that i really would've liked to talk to more, and now i want to, but i can't add them on facebook because it's like, "do they remember me? will they think i'm weird and random?" 
i don't know about anyone else, but it's like that with people i thought were my friends too. it's like "did you really like me? will you ignore me?" i mean, if they really liked me wouldn't they add me first? 
i think the main problem with my brain is that instead of doing schoolwork, i'm thinking about why people don't add people on facebook and singing and dancing to fancy on my bed.