Sunday, October 26, 2008

lets lay it out there...

I am a terrible person.
Seriously, throughout my mere 18 years i've done more harm to my friends, family and environment than anyone ever should. i'm incredibly selfish and don't seem to be doing anything about it. i'm lazy, and i procrastinate like no other. i take on too much because i don't want to say no and then blame everyone else for my misery, for not being able to get everything else done.
i love bottled water, i leave lights on and i litter. i am a ruthless, compulsive gossip and i have no sense of commitment. i'm hyper obsessive and try to micromanage ecerything
by any accounts i am a horrible, horrible person. i know this and yet when people hate me for no reason i can't fathom why.

but heres a thought, maybe it's all ok. because maybe, just maybe, every mistake i've made, every drunk friend who's called me a bitch, every fight with my parents, maybe it's all been leading up to something. some improvement of myself, some way i can compensate. maybe i should give it all up and just be nice. not all sugary sweet fake nice, but just nice. genuine sweet and kind and caring.
wish me luck.

2 comments:

♥cherry. le. fait. said...

i am far too nice and not nearly real enough. it's tragic. maybe it is all leading up to something. i can't see it now.

Rawr said...

i think that everything is leading up to something. and hey, i think your pretty real.